No Internet
A Parable
One day, my computer suddenly doesn't have internet.
So, I begin to get frustrated. I hit the power button on my computer a bunch of times.
Still no internet.
I put a DVD in the drive, and eject it.
Nada. No web.
So then, more than a little irritated, I unplug the computer's power adapter from the wall, and I plug it back in. I also flip my light switches a few times, just to make sure.
Nothing.
My anger intensifies. I just want to read the news, dammit!
Next, I go outside and start walking around my house, looking for any broken, hanging wires. They all look good. Water faucet looks good too. Water hose still coiled neatly. Shingles on the roof are all in place. The fence is locked.
STILL. NO. INTERNET.
Now I'm getting ragey. I've been checking a LOT of things, and the damn internet STILL won't come on. This isn't normal. I'm a paying customer!
Soon, I begin to think the internet company is targeting me, personally. I paid my bill. But those fucking vultures must have hateful people working there. What else could it possibly be? This is getting ridiculous.
It's gotta be that.
I've checked everything else.
I slam my computer on the ground. The screen shatters. I kick the computer out of my front door. Stupid thing doesn't even connect to the internet. I start screaming into my neighborhood about how I'm a paying customer, and you can't steal internet from me.
My neighbors look out their window, worried.
Great. Now they're in on it too?? They all have internet, but just stopped ME from having internet?? I'll teach them. They'll pay.
I call the internet company and begin to threaten the person on the phone with violence. The idiot on the phone starts talking nonsense about a “modem” or some shit. Now we’re just making up words! I can make up words too if I was guilty of infringing on someone’s rights!
I leave threatening notes on my neighbors door. You’re gonna take my internet? I'm an American! I have the right to get what I paid for. NO ONE can take that from me!
The next day, as the police drag me out of my house in handcuffs, I am screaming, and spitting in anger about how everyone is in on this. I am yelling about how my internet went down, but no wires were cut, and my neighbors started looking at me through the windows. The total injustice of having my internet be withheld is evidence of how corrupt our society has become. My neighbors just wanted to watch me suffer.
One officer, bewildered by my insane screams about internet, briefly glances around my house, and notices that my modem doesn’t have a power cord plugged in.
