It's Ok to Change

My "career" started at 18 years old, in the Air Force, as a Command and Control Battle Management Operations Specialist (1C5X1). I picked the career field as an alternate choice when I washed out of combat control tryouts, because I knew I wanted to do something in operations, something with fighters, and something challenging and important.

In reading the description of the field at the recruiter's office, the job sounded downright badass. I mean, just look at that job title!

As with all military specialties, the title, and the way that a recruiter describes a field when you're signing the line, never quite live up to reality.

As you can imagine, the career field is full of many type A, opinionated individuals. Ego is quite prominent. Self reflection, not so much.

I did great in my technical training. So great, in fact, that I went to my first unit with some big kudos, and a recommendation to put me somewhere special. That ended up hurting me when I got there. I was young, foolish, and I didn't have a good toolkit for what success looked like outside of the very structured environment of basic training and tech school. I didn't get a chance to learn the corporate culture, before tripping over my own feet. So when I tripped, it carried harsh consequences.

Other people made similar (or worse) mistakes, but they had the benefit of blending in on a crew position, with more buffer for recovery.

Couple that with an "eat your young" leadership style for those that screw up, and it was inevitable that I was going to have a bumpy ride.

I never fully thrived in the career field...not because I couldn't do the job, but because I never quite found my footing with the people. Those early bumps followed me to new locations, even long after I had grown and improved.

The opinions of my supervisors' old buddies carried more weight than the person standing in front of them.

I ended up being in that career field for 13 years. Always trying to finally be "successful." I did just about every flavor of the job available. I did almost every special school, additional training, etc. that I could.

I did it for so long, partially from the sunk cost fallacy. I had already done X years, so why not a few more? "Once I get this next training, then I'll finally be in a spot where I'll have a clear path forward..."

The final straw came when I got back from the Non Commissioned Officer Academy, in residence, as a Distinguished Graduate, and Commandant Award Nominee (out of 200+ students that class). For most people, coming out of a leadership course with "DG" carries a lot of momentum. You are usually put into more responsible positions pretty quickly, and it's very likely that you'll be on your way up from there.

I came back to my duty station, and sat down with my supervisor to carve out a path forward. I will never forget the look of utter indifference and apathy, as he looked at me and said "What do you mean, path forward?"

He meant it.

That was at the 11 year mark in the military.

That was a soul searching moment.

I had never really taken the time to think about how deeply unhappy I had become.

I had been going to school at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University for a B.S. in Aeronautics. I had become a Weapons Director, which is a mildly prestigious specialty training within the career field. And now, with another prestigious credential on my record: nothing.

I was going nowhere.

In hindsight, that was a great moment. I had taken a brief stint into the medical field, trying to be a nuclear medicine technologist when I first got off of active duty, but other than that, I had come back to take more active duty tours, because it was safe, and it paid well enough.

Now, all bets were off.

It freed me to make a complete pivot into a totally new domain, which has now turned into 4 more major pivots over the last 10 years.

And each of those pivots have informed the next. They are not disconnected. They feed into each other.

It's also caused me to self-select towards people and fields that actually value what I bring to the table. I had started to doubt that was even possible.

Previously, no amount of credential or formal success was enough to make me valuable to people whose minds were made.

Now, I found myself continually getting into even better situations and groups of people because I was willing to give up the certainty of longevity in a single domain.

It's ok to change. Even if it was your dream. Even if you've got XX years invested. Even if your degree is in the field.

It's ok to change.

There are people who will value the perspective that you bring.

Find them.